Letting Go 101

This morning, I had a waking dream of floating in space alone, like in the movie, Gravity. I imagined being lost in space, utterly alone, until death. Running with this fear, or any, could lead to all sorts of common survival strategies including numbing out, compulsive and obsessive behaviors, working harder to avoid being alone, or giving up entirely. I remembered, however, that when I allow myself to be alone and take rest, things become more spacious, clear, creative, playful and free. Perhaps my biggest fear, aloneness, becomes a resource. The things I most want to hold on to, comfort, peace and deep connection, become possible when I let go and allow myself to be alone, which is to be with myself. I realize the necessity of rest, though it can be hard to settle into, even fearful.
In the book I am reading, Belonging, by Toko-Pa Turner, it talks about “The Golden Chalice”, or Holy Grail, that is empty. The emptiness, or void, becomes the place for infinite possibility. When we are full of the endless things that fill our lives, family, friends, work, roles, responsibilities, cares of the world, we need to offload, rest, create space , thereby creating more capacity. Spiritual disciplines help us with this. A discipline creates a framework to support a practice of managing our place in the world and facilitates growth. With all the challenges of being in a human body on earth, having a regular practice that allows us to let go and reset is necessary.
Taking time to let go allows us to reconnect with ourselves and everything else in more meaningful, fulfilling and productive ways. Self-care can be a kind of spiritual discipline. This can include regular practices that tend to our mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and relational well-being which facilitate the letting go process, serving to create internal space for more creative responses to life. Following is a small list of places to start. If you already practice some of them, recognizing them as a necessary means of offloading can remind you of their importance. Having a variety of outlets gives us a network of support for all the cares we take on.
Self-Care practices help us let go and reset:
Nature walks
Making daily routines into rituals or a mindful practice
* Morning: making your bed, bathing, getting dressed, breakfast, meditation or prayer
* Mid Day: taking breaks, walking
* Evening: exercise, relaxation, making dinner, time with family and friends, reading
Therapy
Engaging in hobbies - creative expression
Creative pursuits: music, dance, art
Meditation
Breathing practices
* pranayama - moving life energy with the breath
Spiritual Disciplines to help with letting go:
* Aparigraha - from yoga, a practice of non possessiveness, or non-attachment:
practice brining your focus to the present moment rather than worry about the future
focus on your action over the outcome
share your gifts wholeheartedly
minimize your attachment to material possessions
practice moderation
minimize waste
* Wu wei - from Taoism, a practice of engaged surrender, or achieving by letting go
Questions and Practices:
1.) What would this look like if it were easy?
2.) Think about why you’re doing something, potential bottlenecks, needless perfection, and simpler alternatives.
3.) Visualize an effort scale - start as low as possible until it’s easy, then scale up. If it gets hard scale back.
4.) Live like a scientist. Everything is an experiment. Detach from preconceived outcomes. There is simply the experience and you, the observer. Adjust yourself to the experiment as it evolves.
* Non attachment - from Buddhism, a practice of releasing attachment to desires, outcomes and things
Practices:
having gratitude for past learning experiences
doing inner work to facilitate real change
having courage to take initiative when the chance for change arises
letting go of things that no longer serve us to make space for something new

Learning to let go is an ongoing adventure and is an integral part of what I work on for myself. I support clients on their journey to develop mindful self care practices, get more in touch with their bodies through breathing and movement, and lean into spiritual disciplines as a way to sustain balance and wellness.
Look for upcoming breathing and meditation exercises on this website.